Let's Pretend

Oh, I'm so relieved. Here I was, obsessing over gas and food prices, and wondering where it would all end. Silly me. I should have known it was all in my mind. Thank you, thank you, Phil Gramm, for setting me straight. I wasn't too happy about being called a whiner, though. I really thought that was a bit mean of you.

Now, when I fill up my gas tank, I'll whistle a little tune. When I go to the grocery store, I'll be able to buy brand name veggies and better cuts of meat, instead of store brands and stew meat and hamburger. Then, when I go through the checkout line, and the cashier reluctantly gives me the total, I won't have a fainting spell. I'll just smile at her, shake my head, and say, "It's all right, you know. It's just a figment of our imagination."

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John McCain says Social Security is a disgrace. Well, not exactly. He says the fact that working people are paying into Social Security so retired people can draw theirs is a disgrace. Never mind that's the way the program was set up to begin with, and has worked very successfully ever since its inception.

You know what he really means, don't you? He wants to privatize Social Security. He really hasn't made a secret of it. Just because the old codger has access to more money than he can count, and doesn't need Social Security, he doesn't want anyone else to have it, either. But, he does want to reward all the companies who could cash in on it if it's ever privatized.

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You may have noticed that the Washington media has chosen to ignore McCain's outrageous voting record as it pertains to women. He voted FOR a bill that would make insurance companies pay for Viagra, but voted AGAINST one that would make them pay for birth control pills.

And, he thinks he can get the women's vote. Snrk. Think about it, Hillary holdouts!

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Jesse Jackson put his foot in it, again. After an interview, he thought his microphone was turned off when he murmured, "....... Obama's talking down to black people. I'd like to cut his b----s off." Jesse, Jesse, Jesse. What a cut-up, no pun intended. Now, he'll have to go on all the talking heads' shows all weekend and try to 'splain himself.

Who's the winner here? Why, Jesse, of course.

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Speaking of Jacksons, Michael Jackson is said to be planning a comeback. Supposedly, he'll be touring with "The New Kids On The Block."

I guess he's too old to go on American Idol.

Stay tuned.