Boo To You, Too

Ah, Hallowe'en. It's time, once again, for the letters to the editor condemning the holiday as a tool of the Devil. Be that as it may, it is not the reason that I opt out of the celebration. It's because I've been there, and done that for years and years and years.

It was pretty easy when the children were toddlers. We took them to our closest neighbors' houses, then to the homes of a couple of friends, and to Grandma's, all before dark. Then, it was home, dinner, inventory the candy and off to bed, while daddy and mama toasted the holiday and put our feet up.

Then, the kids started school and Hallowe'en became work. I don't know whatever possessed me to agree to be the chairman of the Hallowe'en Carnival/Chili Supper at my kids' grade school. Worse, how pathetically desperate for approval does one have to be to agree to do it two years in a row?

The carnival was usually held on Friday night before Hallowe'en, and it's no testament to our intelligence that it didn't occur to us that it meant celebrating twice. Nowadays, the schools have their carnivals, the ones who bother to have them at all, on Hallowe'en, except when it falls on Sunday.

A few Hallowe'ens stand out in my memory for their hilarity.

One year, one lone girl came to the door. Jay answered it and said, "Hi, Lee! Hey, it's Lee! Her mom's in the car." So, DJ grabbed a beer from the fridge, handed it to Lee and said, "Give this to your mom, heheheh." As they drove away, we heard a strange voice holler, "Thank you!" DJ said, "Jay, I thought you said that was Lee C". Jay said, "No it was Lee A." Oops.

A friend of mine tried to palm off kittens one year, and promtly got them all back, She said it had seemed like a good idea at the time.

Another year, we hosted a costume party for the members of a club I was in. Kell and Jay wanted to see all the costumes before they had to go to bed, so we let them anwer the door and greet everyone. We began to rethink that idea when our friend, R, arrived dressed only in war paint, sandals and a loin cloth. But, the one that sent the kids to bed voluntarily was H. He came as the Grim Reaper, complete with white face paint, cowl and a scythe. Scared the bejeezus out of Jay.

There came a time when I lived alone, with the kids off to college and DJ just off, and I realized that I no longer had to participate in Hallowe'en. What a relief. So, I started a new one-person family custom. Hiding.

So, this year, as the sun sinks slowly in the west, you can find me with all the lights out and the blinds closed, crouching in my recliner, reading in the glow of a small flashlight, snacking on my favorite Hallowe'en candy, murmuring, "Trick or Treat", and listening to the patter of little feet , and later, bigger feet, as they pass by my door.

And there, in the dark, I'll smile.