You Just Think You Know Them

My friend, M.E. experienced a couple of revelations recently that made her wonder what else she didn't know about her friends.

A woman she has known for over 30 years surprised her with some very unkind remarks about President Obama. From what she said, there was little doubt in M.E.'s mind that her long-time friend was a racist. And, even worse, she is a Republican. M.E. began to wonder why she had never realized this about her friend. They have had almost daily contact and bowl on the same league. Yet, whenever M.E. has expressed her liberal viewpoint, and she expresses it loudly and often, her friend had never uttered a word. But, since Obama became president, she has finally found her voice, and has criticized him roundly and called him racist names.

And, on the heels of this revelation, M.E. was talking to another long-time friend, a classmate of hers from her nursing school. M.E. and five or six of her classmates have had annual reunions every year since the world was young, and they were on the phone, planning this year's get together, when her friend suddenly cautioned M.E. not to bring up the subject of politics, because two of their friends were staunch Republicans. M.E. was astonished. How could she have known these women so long and so well without knowing about their political opinions?

The two conversations, coming one right after another almost rendered M.E. speechless. Almost. Nothing short of the grave will ever actually accomplish this. Anyway, now M.E. is wondering what else she might find out about her friends if she ever questioned them.

I have had a couple of similar experiences lately, in my blog reading. It is so easy to think you know people after reading their blogs daily or whenever they post, for a few years. Of course, you realize you don't know them personally, never having laid eyes on them. But, you come to believe you understand their opinions and attitudes in a very basic way. I would think it would be very difficult to pretend you're someone you're not, over a period of years. Lately, I have had reason to think I might be a bit naive.

One of the bloggers I have been reading for years recently started rejecting my comments. She and I had agreed on so many things, throughout the recent presidential campaign and election, that I thought I knew her fairly well. She was very pleased, as was I, when Barack Obama was elected, and yet, scarcely a day has gone by since his inauguration that she hasn't had some complaint or other about the way he was conducting his appointments, etc. Nothing he was doing pleased her. I found it disappointing, and had the temerity to mildly disagree with her opinion. So, she stopped accepting my comments. That's ok. It's her right to accept or reject whatever comments she chooses. It just makes me wonder how we could have been in such complete agreement one day, and suddenly, no agreement at all. Go figure. Anyway, I'll keep on reading and enjoying her blog (except for the occasional rant against Obama), and just keep my comments to myself. It's disappointing, though.

Another blogger I have been reading for many years is someone I have enjoyed for her humor and writing abilities. We don't have a lot in common, generally, but I still enjoy her blog. She was disappointed when Obama was elected, because she supported Hillary, and has had some harsh things to say about him, and that doesn't bother me at all. But, recently, she had a very vitriolic post about Ted Kennedy which I think revealed an unforgiving nature, and made me think I would just delete her from my blog list. It wasn't her opinions that made me want to stop reading, it was seeing a part of her personality that she had never shown as blatantly before. It made me realize that I would not want to know her in "real life".

Have you ever been disappointed by other bloggers that you have read for a long time? I don't mean because they disagreed with you politically or on other subjects, but because they revealed something in their basic nature that you know you wouldn't like if you knew them, and you would never be close friends. This is the only time I have deleted someone from my blogroll for this reason.

Was I too hasty?

Stay tuned.

The Other Side

I've been having a lot of fun regaling you with my friend, M.E.'s weird experiences, but I can't help feeling a bit mean, not that anyone has suggested it. You're much too polite. It's just that I don't want anyone to think that she's a raving lunatic.

M.E. is actually a very generous, caring woman who goes through life tilting at windmills. She is five years older than me and, while I barely move around and don't particularly like to leave the house, she is like the Energizer Bunny, up and out every day.

Her husband died when they were in their forties, leaving her with a house on about an acre of land and three teenagers, one, a girl, in her first year of college and two boys still in high school. M.E. is an R.N. and worked as the only school nurse for the entire school district. She had an office in the high school, but was often called to one of the other schools. She supervised all of the hearing and vision testing with the help of a handful of mothers who volunteered. She checked for head lice alone.

On Friday and Saturday nights, about twice a month, she worked at the local hospital on the 11 p.m. to 7 p.m. shift.

With the aid of her late husband's Social Security, bank loans and various part time jobs, all three kids finished their educations. Her daughter is a teacher, one son is an engineer and the other son is a doctor.

Summers, she continued to work the night shift at the hospital about five nights a month and enjoyed playing golf. As my bridge partner, she drove me nuts because she didn't bother to bid correctly. Playing bridge was simply the price she had to pay for an evening out with the "girls." I lived for thirty years in the vain hope that one day her natural competitiveness would kick in and she'd be compelled to learn the rules. Never happened.

After she retired from the school system, she continued to work at the hospital, but she never slowed down. Her new-found free time was spend doing volunteer work and taking care of her property. She has painted every room in her house numerous times over the years. She's an excellent seamstress and periodically makes all new window treatments, throw pillows, etc. for her house and, her daughter's. If you drive by in the summer, you're likely to see her bumping along on her riding mower, weed-eating or trimming shrubs.

She spends a day a week at one of the nursing homes and bowls in two bowling leagues. She is the most curious person I have ever met, and can ask two dozen questions in one breath none of which I can't answer. She thinks nothing of loading her dog into her car and driving to Little Rock or Dallas to see her kids and grand-kids. And, have I mentioned that she paints beautiful water-colors?

So, I think she can be forgiven a few quirks that she is quick to laugh about along with me. I just thank God she doesn't own a computer. If she did, she might be writing a blog about all of my many eccentricities.

Stay tuned.