Gonna Take Our Country Back

This is perhaps the most idiotic statement I've ever heard. Yet, it is being thrown around by the Tea Party Pretenders as though they actually believe something has been stolen from them. I 'll explain why I call them "Pretenders" in a few minutes.

From whom, exactly, do they intend to take the country back? Did Canada pull a bloodless coup somewhere along the line and nobody told me? Nope. Not Canada. If we had somehow secretly become the United States of Canada, we'd have Universal Healthcare and words like "aboot" and "hoose" and "eh" would be creeping into our speech, at least across the northern tier of the country. We'd be paying much higher taxes, too.

Maybe it was Mexico. Is the Alamo still standing? Si? Ok, so Mexico didn't take over. China? Only if we default on all those loans.

I have given this a lot of thought as while watching those befuddled fuddy-duddys with their illiterate signs and listened to their hate-filled rants, and I think I have figured it out. They don't want to take the country back FROM anyone. They want to take it back TO a time in history that is more appealing to them.

Like the 1950s, for instance. Things were so much simpler for them back then. It was a time when men had all the answers and women and blacks knew their places. Women were consigned to the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant, and blacks were still at the back of the bus, not getting all uppity and running for President.

And, here's another thing. Let's not confuse the Tea Party Pretenders with the Real Tea Party folks, the Tax Day crowd. The Republicans, with the media as their willing foils, would have us believe they are all the same people. No. No. NO. They are two separate groups with two separate agendas. There may be some overlapping of attitudes, but the Tax Day groups are interested in money - keeping it, that is, and not having to pay taxes. And, they're not confused about it.

The original Tea Party name evokes the Boston Tea Party. They are generally more affluent and better educated than the Tea Party Pretenders and they are much better organized and can spell and articulate their feelings without all the cussing. And, they dress better.

The Tea Party Pretenders are the ones who have been making jackasses of themselves by disrupting town hall meetings. They simply co-opted the Tea Party name to confuse the media, and it's working. They're the ones who want to "take our country BACK."

Get it? Got it? Good.

Stay tuned.

One Lump or Two?

My son went to a tea party today, and snapped the above photo. I stayed home and tuned in to CNN's coverage of what Bill Maher call the Million Moron March. Apparently, the local bunch provided much more entertainment than those in Washington.

Jay said when he got there, someone handed him a flyer and a woman introduced herself and told him where he could find the materials to make himself a sign. He wisely decided not to make one, since the crowd, though small, could probably have done him some lasting damage if they had read what he had to say.

He stayed long enough to hear a woman take the microphone and urged the people to work to get Nancy Pelosi out of office. Then the man who might have been one of the organizers got up and told the crowd that they were non-partisan, but that Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Barack Oama were NOT Christians.

Then, another woman got up and condemned the state of California because they were going to (and here, she teared up) have a moment of silence for a homo-seckshual (snif)! (She was referring to Harvey Milk.) Jay had to leave at this point, because he was afraid he might laugh out loud. So far, he thought people who saw him covering his eyes would probably think he was weeping, too.

At this moment, I am gazing in disbelief at the flyer that was thrust into Jay's hand at the tea party. On one side, in a box, with letters printed in red, is an announcement about a two-day session on "How To Take Back America Training" According to the flyer, this training is to be held Sept. 25-26 in "St. Louise, MO". (And, no, that's not a typo.) Our very own Mike Huckabee is to be one of the guest speakers.

At the bottom left is the message "Let Freedom Ring" and "In God We Still Trust" and "God Bless America!" On the right side is a Bible with a hand on it. And, just in case we can't identify it, in red letters, just under the hand, are the words "The Bible".

But it was the flip side that caught my eye. It was entitled "Un-American & Unlawful White House Projects". It sets forth a bunch of lies and distortions of President Obama's programs, the same tired arguments they have been using all along.

Then, it criticizes all the "Czars" that have been appointed by President Obama. There's the Afghanistan Czar, AIDS Czar, Border Czar, Car Czar, Climate Czar, Copyright Czar, Cyberspace Czar, Drug Czar, Economic Czar, Education Czar, Energy Czar, Executive Pay Czar, Faith-Based Czar, Jobs Czar, Guantanamo Closure Czar, Health Reform Czar, Infotech Czar, Intelligence Czar, Iran Czar, Middle East Peace Czar, Non-Proliferation Czar, Persian Gulf/SE Czar, Regulatory Czar, Science Czar, Stimulus Accountability Czar, Sudan Czar, TARP Czar, Terrorism Czar, Urban Czar, War Czar and WMD and Terrorism Czar.

We have more Czars than Imperialist Russia ever dreamed of. My heavens! We have more Czars than Bubba had ways to prepare shrimp!

Finally, I noticed that this mess of a flyer was written by Phyllis Schlafley.



Stay tuned.