Friday, May 20, 2011

Judge Judy - Perfect Republican

Photobucket I think I have mentioned before that I watch Judge Judy daily, so I could avoid Oprah, and I have come to several conclusions about her. I still don't understand why anyone would agree to go on her show, unless they are under the delusion that they might be "discovered" and go on to bigger and better reality tv.

At any rate, I now consider myself somewhat of an expert on the good judge, and decided to memorialize, on my blog, my advice to anyone contemplating letting her adjudicate, and syndicate, their petty complaints.

1. She likes animals, especially dogs, more than people.

2. She knows nothing about social media, and she doesn't want to know, but that doesn't slow her down.

3. If you're on welfare, medicaid, unemployment, worker's comp or any other government program that helps people less fortunate than she is, you're toast. Might as well stay home.

4. She has no clue how devastating poverty can be. It is beyond her how anyone can have no bank account, or, even in this economy, how someone can be unable to find a job, any job.

5. If she finds out that you are behind on your child support, and she will ferret it out, no matter if the case only concerns the keying of your car, you lose.

6. Ladies, if you show up in her courtroom in a sun dress, she will make somebody get you a sweater to put on over it. And, guys, please don't wear shorts, even if the temperature is 140 in the shade. And, keep your hands out of your pockets, stand up straight, and don't cross your arms in front of you because she sees that as "attitude".

7. She will correct your grammar and pronunciation, over and over if necessary. And scream at you and call you stupid and worse, and you have to just stand there and take it because, as she will remind you, it's her playpen.

8. Don't bring your spouse in as a witness. She won't believe him/her. Same goes for your best friend, mother, father, sister, brother. You'll just have to rely on the kindness of strangers, who really didn't see what happened, but no matter. She'll take their words for it.

9. Your ass is pretty much grass if you're a man, anyway, although she will rule in favor of a policeman without question.

10. For God's sake don't show up for court drunk or high. And, never admit to having a prescription for medical marijuana; she doesn't believe in pain in the lower classes.

It occurs to me that I have watched her for way too long.  I think either Judge Judy or I have "jumped the shark".  Maybe I'd better just change the channel to something less aggravating.

Stay tuned.


Kay Dennison said...

I agree. She only has a nodding acquaintance with the real world cut there are many like her today.

Peruby said...

I have never been able to watch any more than 2 minutes of her show. Remember - it is a form of entertainment.

Anonymous said...

In any show like this, I always wonder "Who is the target market?"
I watch no Lawyer/court shows, but for many of my clients, kids or adults, this is the only court show they have seen. That may also be true for some of our local judges.

Olga said...

Oprah is having her last show soon, so you won't have to watch Judge Judy after that.

Margie's Musings said...

I really do not care for Judge Judy. But then I don't care for Oprah's show either.

In fact, I have a very hard time finding anything on TV to watch at all.

Looking to the Stars said...

I don't watch her, I don't like her playpen :)

I think you'll find something better to watch. Your summary of her was great :)

Grayquill said...

You are entertaining - even more than Judge Judy.I was wondering why you are such a glutton for punishment. I guess it is just human nature to seek out pain. Anger is great to keep one feeling alive. At least I have wondered from time to time if that is what motivates me.
One thing I know, if Judge Judy came to your play ground she wouldn't stand a chance.
Watch that blood pressure.

Betty said...

Kay and Peruby: I don't know why I have watched this long, except that it is a form of entertainment, as you say, Peruby. Makes me wonder about my taste in entertainment, though.

Always: I hope real judges don't take a leaf from Judy's book and treat the people appearing before her with such disdain.

Olga: You're right, but what will take Oprah's place?

Margie and Looking: I'm through watching her, too. Maybe they'll put episodes of Law & Order on in Oprah's place. That's what we need! lol It's a cinch it won't be anything the networks have to spend money on.

Grayquill: You think I could go a few rounds with Jusge Judy, do you? And, my blood pressure is just fine, thank you.

Joy Des Jardins said...

I love this post Betty. I occasionally watched her show a long time ago; but honestly, I had to stop. She annoyed me too about ATTITUDE! She's Hitler in a black robe....EEEEK! ~Joy

Betty said...

Joy: I have the feeling she is treating these poor saps who appear on her show the way she longed to treat people in her family court, but didn't dare.

NitWit1 said...

I regret to inform you there are/were two REAL judges in Marion Co who have similar quirks of Judge Judy.

In fact, one, a woman is named Judith. She has sent people home escorted by law enforcement for more appropriate apparel.

Once I was in her court when she ordered a local yokel to remove his cap. If she could have seen the real picture from the rear, as I did, I shudder think what her action might be. He had a consider tear in his scrungy jeans which plenty of undershorts revealed. ( at least he had some on!). the young man was otherwise courteous in my opinion.

The other Judge was a circuit judge and now moved on to a higher court position. He refused to allow defendents wear shorts. Once a witness appear in scanty attire including shorts--lots of skin showing--. I'm not sure his disdain for defendents poor choices in apparel applied to witnesses. He did not send her home, but if looks could kill, he gave her one, and surely was not oogling.

I watch lots of TV but not court shows and cannot imagine I would allow any litigation I could have, would I allow to be on public television.

I watch lots of reruns of older sitcoms, movies, some reality--I'm getting tired of these, Animal Planet where the animals behave better than humans, news, and weather for the most part

Now that I have a KINDLE I am reading more instead of TV.

Betty said...

I know the Circuit Judge you are talking about. He's a joke.

I love my Kindle, too. It comes in handy when I am waiting, waiting, waiting in the doctor's office.

Anonymous said...

The analysis of this blog entry is skin deep.

Judge Judy doesn't have it out for those less fortunate. She has it out for those who are lazy and take advantage of others.

But this is the era of entitlement, so anyone, particularly those few and far between in the media, who enforce and otherwise promote personal responsiblity, will be demonized by today's masses who breathe and are therfore entitled.

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