Getting To Know You

Cosette here. So, we drove down to Central Arkansas to see my friend, Cynthia. She's the one who gave Al and Kelley to me. There was another dog there and when we left to go to Harrison, we took her with us. Her name is Lucy and they tell me she is my sister. Personally, I don't see the resemblance, but I'll take their word for it.

Then, we came home. Kelley gave her her own foodbowl and bed and showed her how to go out the doggy door and then left it up to me to tell her the rules. So I did:

"Apparently you're going to be living here, so there are a few house rules that you will have to follow.

1. That old woman you saw in Harrison will want to call you her grandpuppy. She's old, and if she doesn't know the difference between a PBGV and a human, that's not our problem. Be nice to her and she'll scratch your ears and rub your tummy and let you wake her up mornings when she comes for Thanksgiving.

2. That guy with grandma is another relative. He comes on Thanksgiving, too. His name is Unclejay. I've never heard a first name like that before, but that, too is not our problem. He'll play with us and take our picture and some days he'll even take us for a walk, so stay on his good side, too. He and grandma will want you to love each one of them best, so they will have a contest to see who can make you the happiest with and scraps from their plates and treats like chicken and cheese. It's a win-win situation as long as you don't play favorites.

3. Al belongs to Kelley, and don't you forget it. He'll play with us and feed us and take us for rides and run with us, but he sleeps with her. So, don't get in that bed between them or you'll find yourself on the floor. He goes away most days and comes home in the late afternoon. It won't do you any good to lie by the door and whine and take on when he leaves, and besides, it's annoying, so cut it out.

3. Kelley belongs to Al and is the one to suck up to because she's a soft touch. She's here at home most of the time and will snuggle on the couch with us and give us treats if we sit down and stay that way when she says so. She and Al are both trainable.

4. Judy is a friend from Harrison who comes with Grandma and Unclejay to see us on Thanksgiving, too. She has a funny accent and Grandma says it's because she's from some country called N'Awlins, but you can understand her ok. She likes you to get on the couch with her so she grab can your ears and kiss you right on the lips, but if you keep your mouth closed, you won't get her cooties.

5. Kelley is going to take you to the Vet on Wednesday, and I won't lie to you. It won't all be fun and games. You'll get a summer haircut like mine, and a bath and pedicure and those will feel good. But, then he'll ream out your anal glands, and that's no picnic, but it doesn't last too long and then you can stop that filthy habit of dragging your butt all over the carpet until someone catches you at it. Trust me, it's all for the best.

6. That's about it, except for one more thing. Just remember, you answer to Al and you answer to Kelley and you answer to ME. Remember the rules, and we'll all get along just fine. It's a happy house, and I intend to keep it that way. Don't make me hurt you.

Oh, and by the way, quit trying to sniff my butt!"

Stay tuned.