It was raining cats and dogs the other day, and as I idly surfed the channels looking for something to watch, I paused on a news channel and saw the woman who is running against Harry Reid in Nevada. She was explaining her theory that instead of paying the family doctor in money we should barter. People used to do that all the time. (Yeah, back in the good old days known as the Great Depression.) She said they used to pay the doctor in chickens, for instance.
Then I got an idea. It was something a whole lot funner than watching daytime television, and would be amusing as all get-out. Why don't we all spend one afternoon calling the local doctors' offices and asking them how many chickens it would take to get an appendectomy? A hysterectomy? Botox? Face Lift? Any other lift? How about an office call for a bad cold? How many chickens would it cost for monthly checkups for Diabetes, for the rest of one's life?
If we get tired of being hung up on by the doctors, their nurses, nurse practitioners, bookkeepers and receptionists, we could turn to the hospitals. Call the CFO's office and see how many chickens it would take for, say an outpatient procedure. How many for an overnight stay after a procedure. How much for the ICU, the operating room, the lab, and how many chickens could the cafeteria serve in a day? That should be good for an entire morning.
If they are cool to the idea of chickens, how about the eggs? Or a combination of the two? A side of beef? Pork chops? Catfish? Bacon! Everybody loves bacon.
Harry, dear, you're looking better every day.