Monday, October 26, 2009

Not So Famous Last Words

PhotobucketSince I entered my twilight years, one or the other of my children has, periodically, suggested that I should memorialize my last wishes in a written document. This is, presumably, in case they should one day find my carcass in peaceful repose in my recliner, book in my hands and reading glasses perched on my nose. They seem to think they wouldn't know what to do with me at that point.

In the first place, they wouldn't be the ones who found me, having long since committed me to Shady Pines. So, chances are I will be found by an attendant after I have missed a couple of meals, a bingo game and an elder aerobics session.

So, I decided to do as they asked and wrote my last wishes, and saved it to a folder in my computer. I look upon it as my chance to have the last word, something I haven't achieved in life.

Anyhoo, when I got through with it I realized that I had placed myself squarely on the horns of a dilemma. I couldn't "shuffle off this mortal coil" without letting them know I had finally done what they wanted. They might not even look for it, thinking I had never gotten around to writing it.

On the other hand, telling them about it would undoubtedly pique their curiosity, compelling one or both of them to sneak off to my computer to read it. And, that's exactly what happened. When Kelley was home last week, I broke down and told them about it and while they did manage to beat back an urge to race each other to my computer, I have no doubt that they entered into a deal whereby Jay would read it and report to Kelley.

Then, Jay, being unable to keep from commenting, let me know he had read the document, saying, "I guess it wouldn't be a bad idea for me to write something like that, too. Only mine would be funnier."

There goes my chance to have the last word.

Stay tuned.


kenju said...

Not necessarily, Betty!! I'd write something else out and put it in a sealed envelope with this on the front:

"Not to be opened until after my death"

That way you could have the last word!! LOL

Kay Dennison said...

Frankly, I don't think my kids would be interested. And yeah, I like Judy's idea.

NitWit1 said...

I am rooting for you to have the last word.....I know you can figure some way to accomplish it.

I have no kids but have a half brother nagging me to move close to them and be buried in a their family plot.

He is a biological brother I found in 2000 when I searched for my bio family. He loves everybody but does not have the a proverbial pot to welll...... you know the rest of that.

The so called family plot does not exist. My half sister and her now deceased husband purchased a large number of burial plots for their family and children. Because the two half brothers have not fared well in life one's deceased wife was allowed to be buried there and hence so will
that half brother, and most likely this half brother making the proposal. However their parents (my bio mother)are buried elsewhere.

Funny how these so-called end of life decisions others want to influence who have no influence.

I know you will get the last word somehow!

Arkansas Patti said...

I have total faith in you, if anyone can pull it off, you can.
In a way it is too bad we don't know when, for then we could just preschedule a post for our blogs.
So far, I am voting for Judy's idea only who is to stop them from opening that envelope? Leave it with an attorney maybe? Good luck.

Kell said...

Hey, he hasn't told me anything! You can still have the last word, but I'd rather not wait until something happens to know what you want. You can always write something else cuz now we'll definitely be searching your computer :)

Darlene said...

I don't think it would be any fun to have the last word if you couldn't see their faces when they read it.

If I haven't said it before I depart, I don't think it matters much.

Love your sense of humor, Betty. You do make grim subjects fun to read.

Deanna said...

You will find a way to have the last word. I have faith in you!