Monday, November 05, 2007

An Apple A Day?

Have I mentioned that among my many phobias is a fear of doctors - or, I should say, the medical profession in general? For someone who comes from a family full of doctors and nurses, I could have picked a phobia that was more appropriate, like a fear of plumbers or policemen, but I didn't get to do the choosing. Maybe, after years in the middle of medical people, I knew better than to buy into the "Doctor as God" theory. To me, they are just all too human.

That said, I finally went to my doctor's office last week. I was only six months late for my semi-annual appointment. First, I went to the lab for the blood-letting. My favorite lab tech - the one who could always find the right vein on the first try and didn't hurt, had quit. I can only guess that she went in search of a better paying job, given that doctors are notoriously stingy with their employees.

Anyway, the other tech had brought his wife, Vampira, in to take her place, and this was not good news. In spite of my assurance that I could show her where the best vein was, she ignored me, put a rubber tourniquet around my upper arm, handed me a ball to squeeze, and started thumping around the bend of my elbow, looking for a vein. Failing that, she sighed and plunged the needle into my arm and, of course, missed the veins by a mile. She kept trying, as though she were drilling for oil, and, just when I was about to grab the syringe and do it myself, she accidently found a tiny vein. Then, she complained that the blood wasn't flowing very fast.

I bit my tongue before I said that if she had found a normal-sized one, instead of a "spider" vein, she would have a gusher. Instead, I quipped that I wasn't moving very fast, either, at that hour of the morning, without having my coffee. (chuckle) She wiggled the needle and pulled on the plunger. The woman has no sense of humor at all.

At last, she removed the needle, gave me a cotton ball to press on the wound, and said the words that will forever endear her to me. "Do you have an appointment, or do you want us to call you with the results?" Yessssssss! After a little internal celebrating, I said, offhandedly, "Well, you might as well call me. Then, if he wants me to come in for some reason, (such as reminding himself what I look like), he knows how to find me. "

And, I actually got away with it. His nurse called me a couple of days later and told me everything is fine, no changes, and come in in 6 months. I figure I can probably push that out to eight months, easily. Maybe nine.

19 comments:

Newt said...

A woman after my own heart. I can't believe you didn't kick her. That's usually what I do it's a "reflex" I have, sorry about that.

Peggy said...

I just love hearing about little victories like that!! Perhaps by the time you get back, Vampira will have moved on.

Annie said...

You might have iatrophobia, except that the definition is "irrational fear of doctors" and maybe your fear is all too rationale, Betty.

Joy Des Jardins said...

I'm just like you Betty.....I go as little as possible to the doctor's office. I've been trying to psych myself up to make an appt. for a little procedure/test I'm overdue for. I just can't seem to bite the bullet and call. And...as I get older....I get worse. I'm definitely more like my dad in this area. I hate doing it and I hate thinking about it....poop!

Dogwalkmusings said...

Ah, I love it when I find a collective bunch just like me!

Tink said...

I'm of the mind that doctors and dentists are out to get me. Seriously. I brush my teeth three times a day. THREE TIMES! I floss. I get regular check-ups. I don't drink a Coke but once or twice a week. But never fail, I always have a cavity. I'm sure the doctor would have stuff to add, if I ever went to see him. But I avoid him at all costs. If it ain't broke, I ain't fixin' it! :D

qofd said...

Wait, wait, wait. Her name was Vampira and you stayed?

;)

Kell said...

I inherited your veins, dammit. I drink water until I float, and they still can't find a vein. I actually had a nurse ask me if I was alive once. That's not funny. :)

susan said...

You lucked out on that one. I still don't get why the medical profession think they know our bodies better than we do...

kenju said...

I'm in the other camp. I know that they are not God, but they don't bother me at all (except for the money they charge!!)

Joan said...

I think I've met Vampira, once or twice, across the desk in the lab I go to and I have the bruises to prove it!

Sister--Three said...

I am glad the results were ok and hope they will continue to be.

her indoors said...

ouch! why oh why do they never listen to us!
glad all is fine with you Betty

Lena said...

I hate when some medics think they know your body better than you do, just because they're in the 'business'!

Good on you for your reply - and holding your tongue so long!

gawilli said...

My appointment is Friday morning. I held out until they refused to refill my meds. You are much more patient than I am. And you surely have put me in the right frame of mind for my visit. Bring 'em on.

Betty said...

Everybody: Sorry I haven't replied to each comment, but I've been busy for once. I have read all of them, though, and appreciate your views.

Arkansas Songbird said...

Oh, my gosh. I share your phobia. The only reason I ever visit a doctor (usually in the emergency room ) is if I do something stupid like step on a fish hook and jam it in my heel halfway to the bone. I tried to pull it out myself with a pair of pliers first. That is how much I hate having to see a doctor!

patsy said...

way to go.

Claude said...

I am with you 100%! I hate doctors, nurses, dentists and the likes.
I also hate the fact that I've had to visit them a lot since I got breast cancer :(
I would agree to eat 100 apples a day if it could keep them away for good ;)