Sunday, October 07, 2007

Letters, We Get Letters

Sometimes the Letters to the Editor in our local paper are better reading than the comics.

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Petitions are once again being circulated to get the wet/dry issue on the ballot in 2008. This happens every ten years or so, and if it manages to get on the ballot, it always goes down in flames, thanks to the cooperation between the local churches and the owners of the liquor stores in the counties surrounding us and just across the border into Missouri.

There have already been pro and con letters to the editor of the local newspaper - mostly con. In fact, in today's paper, one woman pulled out all the stops and suggested that we would have taverns and liquor stores on every corner of the square and a few in between. She said they would smell bad and that there would be pitiful little children sitting outside on the curb while their parents were inside drinking themselves numb. She really warms to her subject, doesn't she? It'll get more emotional and funnier before it's over.


Another letter writer is awed by the newly decorated Fashion Mall. She loves all the plants and flowers and the colorful dragons hanging from the ceilings. And, she wonders if the mall has new owners. We may never be able to answer that question, though, because the mall has never been locally owned and has changed hands without fanfare several times over the years.

One of the things she likes most is someone's idea of putting stuffed animals in the windows of all of the empty stores, making the mall seem more "vibrant".

She ended by saying that the mall was being kept nice and clean and smelling good and was a wonderful place to walk! Funny, I have always believed that the main purpose of the mall was shopping, but her comment gave me an idea.

Why not turn the mall into a huge gym, with facilities for rehab? The mall walkers would be welcome there, and there could be an indoor pool in one of the larger empty spaces once occupied by various enterprises. Other adjoining empty spaces can be turned into dressing rooms and showers.

We have plenty of room for weight training and aerobics and gymnastics, even! A couple of the spaces have been used as sandwich shops or pizza parlors in the past. They could be turned into cafes with healthy menus, featuring tofu and alfalfa sprouts, and a variety of sticks and twigs that health food nuts like to eat.

There is room, also for a large store that would sell walking shoes, bathing suits, mats for the yoga crowd, and all sorts of exercise clothing and think of the equipment that could be sold! Oh, the possibilities are endless!

Come to think of it, this idea might not be as crazy as it sounds. Damn, I'm good!


Harvest Homecoming, one of our two big festivals of the year, was held Oct. 4 and 5, and without much, if any fanfare. If there was anything in our local paper, I didn't see it. And, it should have been very hard to miss - big headlines, lists of attractions, schedules for various events, bands playing on the square for a Saturday night street dance.

This is an extravaganza presented by the Main Street group each year. Without a lot of advertising, I wonder if anyone attended.

Next weekend, Turkey Trot in Yellville. Should be interesting this year, since Marion county voted to go wet. You know, what with all those whiskey fumes emanating from the liquor stores on every corner and the taverns with the poor little children crying on the curb.


Jay said...

That letter writer forgot about the hookers. Everyone knows that if there are bars then there are going to be hookers hanging out in front of them.

At least I hope so. ;-) LOL

Kell said...

That turning the mall into the gym idea is genius! What a great idea.

gawilli said...

We have an opinion piece in our paper called "Quickly" where people can call in or e-mail there comments. Its usually the first thing I read, mostly for the giggles.

...children crying on the curb. Sheesh.

gawilli said...

Make that "their" comments. I guess I need to call it a night.

Chancy said...

We have a section in our paper called "The Vent". Usually good for a laugh or two as readers write or email in with "clever" comments.

her indoors said...

so i take it the mall is fairly empty then? just think of the possibilities gym, swimming then shopping great idea.

Betty said...

jay: for your sake, I hope so,

kell: All these great ideas are just wasted on someone with no money, aren't they?

gawilli: Some people will just say anything to make a point.

chancy: It's fun to read them, isn't it?

her indoors: The mall is a wasteland. There are only a few stores left, and hardly any people go there, besides the mall walkers. It's sad, really.

susan said...

They should just put the bars in the shopping mall and the kids can go play with all those vibrant stuffed animals in the windows. Problem solved. Now where's my drink?

qofd said...

Ok, I have to ask... what is the persuasion of congregations that vote to stay dry? Just because there has been a debate of kinds (I'm deleting most of the comments because they are just plain mean) on my blog about the Baptists being drinkers.

In my experience, because I used to be Southern Baptist, they are most definitely death on alcohol. So... who is it in your neck of the woods who is voting to go dry?

Anyway. WOO HOO on the Turkey Trot! Alright. Moving right along...

Betty said...

susan: A bar in the mall. Excellent! But, they'd probably ruin everything by making it a juice bar.

qofd: Here in the Bible Belt Buckle, it's ALL the denominations, except, perhaps, the Catholics. And, maybe the Episcopalians. Personally, I think it's more to hold up progress than anything else. We have a lot of people who like being big fish in this itty-bitty pond, and going wet would certainly encourage progress on many fronts.

kenju said...

Betty, thanks for the visit and the nice comment!

That woman sounds like a throwback to the Women's Temperance groups back in the 20's. My mom told me about them and all their arguments. She's old before her time, I think...LOL

Betty said...

kenju: There are many people just like her living here.

Tink said...

That woman sounds like she needs a stiff drink. :)

Betty said...

tink: I don't know about her, but after reading her silly letter, I sure do!