Thursday, July 19, 2007

Mothers and Daughters

Every now and then, something triggers a memory, just an anecdote out of the distant past. When that happened today, I realized that they might make good blogfodder for those times that I cant think of any deathless prose or doggerel to regale you with. So, here goes:

I hung up on my mother twice. And, she richly deserved it both times. The first time was when I called to tell her that D.J. and I had separated. Instead of the motherly compassion I fully expected, she snapped, " What did you do to run him off?" So, Click!

The second time, the next day, she called me and went through a litany of my many, many shortcomings as a wife and mother. Again, Click!

Then, thwarted by my refusal to listen, she sent me a book by Marabel Morgan (I think that was her name) called "The Total Woman". With a sense of entering the Twilight Zone, I peeked inside the book, read a few lines and started laughing. I read and laughed until my sides hurt.

I calle my mother and told her that I had been reading the book, and I was going to follow Ms. Morgan's advice. Mother seemed to feel that I had come to my senses until I said, "The next time DJ comes to pick up the kids, I'm going to greet him at the door swathed in Saran Wrap.

Mother never did have a sense of humor. She hung up on ME.

21 comments:

Nancy said...

Betty,

I know you like poetry and I especially enjoy your poetry. You mentioned Maribel Morgan today and I forgot about her so I googled the name and one of the things that came up was "Housewife" by Paul Niquette (Don't ask me, ask Google). Anyway, there is a poem on his page which is very clever and I think you might enjoy it. It is written in some accent I can't really place but if you can overlook that, the poem is fun. If you get time, go there and see it.

Betty said...

That is a good poem. I spelled her name wrong - It's Marabel. Not Maribel. Funny how when you spell things correctly, Google just picks right up on it. lol

her indoors said...

mothers should love and support us in whatever we do, of course not murder!, they might not agree to what we decide to do in life, so did you two still stay friends?

patsy said...

i remember you writing a little about your mother. you should have hung up on her before then. i never read that book but have heard of it. total nonsence

Kell said...

Thank goodness you threw that book away! I think you threw it all the way to the ditch behind the house, didn't you?

Dirk_Star said...

L.O.L.

You always crack me up. I called my wife at work and told her to read this post.

Thanks for a good laugh.

Joy Des Jardins said...

I had a few 'hang-up' moments with my mother too Betty. She was an emotional person and had a way of speaking before thinking...especially in her younger days. I remember when I called her to tell her I was pregnant with my fourth child....she said, "Again?" I don't think she really meant it, but she said it. I'm very aware of that stuff as a mother....and I bet you are too.

Betty said...

her indoors: Our relationship was always complicated, but that period of my life made it even moreso. Let's just say, we stayed civil and I kept reminding myself that she was, after all, my mother.

patsy: That book was hilarious. You should have read it just so you could have a good laugh. I called it, "How To Be A Doormat".

kell: I sure did. But, the groundhog that lived there threw it back. lol

Dirk: At that point in my life, I needed that laugh.

Joy: One time, she commented, "Where did you come up with THOSE names", talking about my children. Grrrr. Yes, I have tried very hard not to be like her in many ways.

Sister--Three said...

You are better off without D. J.
Dead Jerk? I hope he had a horrible life.

Betty said...

sister--three: Well, you're right about the "dead" part, anyway.

DJ Kirkby said...

Lol...this post was just instant lol...

Cazzie!!! said...

HahAHA, love this story.

Arkansas Songbird said...

Mom will still say things occasionally that cut like a knife. I am so much like her though so I am sure I do the same thing back to her.

Betty said...

dj kirby: Hello. Welcome. I've been lurking at your blog, but haven't commented yet. Whenever you least expect it.......

Cazzie: Thanks. Glad you liked it.

arkansas songbird: I must be more like my dad because I could never talk back to her. And, neither could he. lol

Peggy said...

I remember the Saran Wrap scene in the movie Fried Green Tomatoes. What a hoot!

I'm sorry your mom wasn't immediately supportive of you and I'm glad you didn't accept what she was dishing out.

savannah said...

hilarious! but as you said, a reminder for us about how NOT to talk to our children...

Newt said...

My mother has always struggled with her relationship with her mother. Grandma is unbelieveably mean and cruel but my mom keeps trying anyway. I never understood that. Before we would go to her house my parents would ask me to be nice and just put up with whatever vial hatred Grandma would spew. I did what they asked but you have no idea how often I had to bite my tongue and leave the room.

The irony of it is that my mom and dad are nice to her because they are good people. My mom's brother's are only nice to her becausse they want the money when she dies. They say horrible things behind her back about her. And of course my grandmother thinks her sons are saints and her daughter is crap. Go figure.

Annie said...

Your Mom crossed the line with the Marabel Morgan gift book. Thank goodness you have a sense of humor.

Betty said...

peggy and savannah: She taught me what I didn't want to be.

newt: Relationships are hard.

annie: She was a very complex personality. I tried to remember that.

Anonymous said...

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