Monday, March 12, 2007

Trixie and Bubba

I once knew a couple whom I shall refer to as Bubba and Trixie. You may have known couples like them. They couldn’t live together and they couldn’t live apart, either. For years, they fought, separated, fought and got back together, again. Each time they separated, they swore it was final, over, kaput. Trixie would see a divorce lawyer, who would listen to her, take notes, and then put them in his burgeoning file and forget about it. At times, they actually went through with the divorce and then remarried.

They couldn’t use youth as their excuse. They were in their late forties, or early fifties, I think, and had both been married at least once before. So, you might say they were old pros where marital combat was concerned.

The fighting eventually escalated, as Trixie had a hair-trigger temper and a real mouth on her. On the other hand, Bubba just reared back and laughed at her, and that made her even madder. The nights they went to the local country club and got a snoot-full were the nights they had their most spectacular brawls.

Inevitably, things got physical. The opening salvo was the time Trixie told Bubba to move out of the house. She told him this by throwing all his underwear out into their driveway and setting it on fire. He left, gladly, and moved into an apartment that he kept rented for just this purpose. Early the next morning, Trixie took a baseball bat and totaled Bubba’s car with it. You could hear the bat hitting the car for at least two blocks away. You could also hear Bubba laughing his ass off from the vantage point of his balcony.

After couple of weeks , he bought a new car and moved home. A few days later, after a night of drinking, they got into a fight just before they left the club. This time, she was so mad, she pulled a gun out of her purse and blasted away at his car as he sped out of the parking lot. She hit the driver’s side door, but the bullet didn’t go all the way through. Then, she got in her car and followed him home, crashing into the rear end of his car every few feet. He pulled into their driveway and made a run for the house. She was too quick for him, because she didn’t get out of her car. So, he started running across the front yard, with her in hot pursuit, around and around the yard light.

Another time, when someone mentioned to Trixie that Bubba didn’t look like he felt too good, she confided that she had put rat poison in his bottle of Scotch. When that someone pointed out to her that it might actually kill him, she threw the bottle away, and Bubba lived to laugh another day.

Bubba and Trixie must have blamed the town for their problems, because they moved away. Eventually, something must have happened that Bubba couldn’t laugh about, because they divorced, again, and this time it took. Some time later, Bubba died of natural causes, which astonished everyone. Nobody seems to know what happened to Trixie.

It was kind of quiet here for a long time after they left. We still reminisce about Bubba and Trixie, and have a good laugh.

15 comments:

patsy said...

very sad to spend your life fighting. she probably is some where telling someone what a great guy bubba was and how she misses him.

her indoors said...

some people just seem to thrive on arguing, me i hate it and yes life is far too short to spend it fighting with one another.

gawilli said...

It does seem like there is at least one of those couples in every neighborhood - at least in the ones I have lived in! One morning I woke up and saw the neighbors car hanging out of the back of garage, about 15 feet up in the air, front end suspended on a tree. They had gone out, gotten rip-roaring drunk and drove completely through the garage! Ah, those were the good old days!

Ellie said...

There are definately couples that seem to need chaos in order to survive, yet seem unable to survive without each other.

Cazzie!!! said...

Oh yeah, there are always Bubba's and Trixie's about. Love-hate relationships they cannot seem to get out of. Ibet they truly did love each other though, and making up is always good after a brawl right!

John said...

The poison in his scotch reminds me of Lady Astor and Winston Churchill ...

Lady Astor .. "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink".

Churchill .. "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it".

dc said...

I am still laughing! I was afraid you were going to tell me that you were Trixie!! Hoot, Hoot!!

Tink said...

Wow. That is both disturbing and amusing. The first night in the new house, I watched two of our neighbors go at it in the middle of the street. Apparently, the one had gone on to the other's yard. I don't know why or what made this a big deal, but the words they were slinging made ME blush.

Nice welcoming hm? :)

cherry menlove said...

WOW! What a tale. Thanks for that, I was dying to know how it all ended. Poor Bubba :-(

Cherry Menlove xx

Anonymous said...

I have been married to the same man for almost 40 years. Today he put in a new water heater and a new faucet in the kitchen sink. I am going to keep him. other Betty

dot said...

Funny story Betty! Kinda reminded me of the Dixie Chick's song "Earl". Boy, I bet you could write some good stuff about the Dixie Chicks!

Lorna said...

One question, Betty? Did this well-balanced, fun-loving, priorities in tact couple have children? Heaven help us all. Some people really should not be allowed to procreate! :-)

Betty said...

Lorna: Yes, he had children from another marriage or two, and she had three, and together they had one. Heaven help them.

Annie said...

They were excitement junkies, I think, and generated their own excitement. Imagine the withdrawal pains they each experienced at the final point of their relationship!

Newt said...

Wow, that's a great story. Some relationships seem to thrive on that sort of chaos. I never could understand the love hate thing. But it takes all kinds. And your stories are just wonderful.