A Nation of Copycats

You expect teenagers to try to look alike, talk alike, walk alike and travel in packs. They are trying to be the opposite of their elders (parents), and at the same time, they want to fit in with their peers.

When they become adults, you would think they would want to have individual styles, wouldn't you? But, the pack mentality still seems to apply well into adulthood. Everybody has to have a cell phone, pager, ipod, blackberry, SUV, 42-inch tv, and so on ad nausea.

It is in the entertainment industry, however, that it seems the most prevalent, and of course, its members act as role models, and not only good ones.

News broadcasts all have the same format. The weather has been elevated to a place of some importance in the local news casts. It is actually discussed TWICE in each 30-minute newscast. There was a time when Mother Nature was just allowed to take her course, and we dealt with whatever was thrown at us without having to have dire warnings and predictions about something we really can't do anything about. A short weather forecast is really all we need, in order to decide whether to take an umbrella,put on our snow tires tomorrow, or run out and buy a generator. Then, let 'er rip.

In local news, at least, the stories are all the same, and usually in the same order of importance. And, strangely enough, many of them have the same theme music, now matter how many states divide them. How do they do that? The only decision the viewer need make is which channel to watch, meaning, which co-anchor is best looking or amuses you the most mispronouncing names.

Everybody gets national air time. Everybody. No matter how mundane or traumatic the event, Mr. Dam, Mrs. Dam and the whole Dam family have to gather in front of the tv cameras to hold a press conference. Murdered your grandma? Where's CNN? Caught in a tornado? Call the Weather Channel. Witnessed a bank robbery? Cameras are rolling. And, even the local authorities are happy to cooperate and reiterate your story in front of the cameras. I won't even discuss "Reality TV".

Congresspeople who get caught in some wrongdoing all have the same excuse. "I was drunk (on pills or alcahol, or both). I'm going into rehab tomorrow." Some of them go to jail, too, in spite of their addictions. Or, some old goat gets caught with his hand in the cookie jar, and, when he's sentenced to 18 months in prison, suddenly he has a heart condition or some other ailment where he can't possibly get proper medical treatment in jail.

And, then there's the music industry.

1. Rap "artists": All use the same gestures (messages to their gang members). Wear baggy jeans. Ball caps turned to the side or backwards, whichever looks sillier. Lyrics that we can't understand, or appall us when we can. All "songs" have the very same beat. All rap has the same meter. Sorry, I just can't bring myself to call it "Rap Music". There is simply no music involved.

2. Country and Pop Singers:

a. Pop singers: Men: Ball caps, ratty jeans and blazers (And, sometimes, even a tie.) They can all lapse into falsetto without warning.
b. Country: Cowboy hats, black or white, all looking too big for their heads. Hiding their faces under the hats is a must,(a blessing, at times).

a. Women: Blond, Blue-eyed, Busty. May or may not be naturally blue-eyed (contacts), may or may not be naturally busty (silicone) and may or may not be naturally blond (carpet may not match the drapes). But, they're either flirty or angry, and sometimes it's hard to decide which is which. And, at some point during the number they'll all point at someone in the audience and address him as "chew" (I loved chew, why don'chew love me, etc."

We become enamored with hip-sounding words and phrases. And, every living soul on television has to find a way to use them. For a while there, politicians started every sentence with "At the end of the day..." And, entertainers had to find a way to show off their "bling", or "bling-bling" until I thought my head would explode.

I have decided that the only place to find real humor, intellect and inventiveness - dare I say "talent"? - is on the Internets. In the blogs and on the forums.

So, I than-kew very much for the pleasure you give me every day. Keep up the good work.

Rant over.