Friday, December 08, 2006

What Was your Dream?

In her Blog, “Time Goes By”, Ronni Bennett asks, when you were 20, what did you think your life would be like at 65 or 70?

Oh, where to start? When I was 20, I was just beginning to feel the freedom of independence from parental rules and regulations. I had dreams of being a newspaper reporter, and writing great novels in my spare time.

Then, I met DJ, and the dream changed, slightly. I would be married, have children, be the greatest wife and mother ever, and write great novels in my spare time.

By the time I was in my 30s, I was a happy mother and homemaker, trying to be the kind of hostess/wife DJ needed for his dreams. I did charitable works for the Cancer Fund, the Heart Asociation and St. Jude's. And, when things calmed down a little I would write great novels.

At 40, I was divorced and trying to hold things together with two jobs I hated, working for a bunch of male chauvinist pigs of the first order, and feeling very trapped and unable to extricate myself. I told myself that when I was able to get out of this job and out of this town, I’d be able to breathe again, and write great novels.

Then, in my mid-50’s I was able to change jobs, although in the same town, make a little more money, and my kids were off making lives for themselves, and I realized that I no longer had any ideas for the great novels. But, I was writing a company newsletter, which, at times, was partly fiction.

When I was 61, I retired rather suddenly; pushed out of a job I had held for 15 years. Soon, I started doing pretty much whatever I wanted, lingering over my coffee and newspapers every morning, and reading entertaining mysteries, and thinking now I had time to read all the books I wanted.

At 65, I started this blog, and was fortunate enough to meet a lot of great people with similar interests, some leading more interesting lives, and some whose lives were not that much different from mine. And, slowly, slowly, I began to think I might still write a book, if not a great novel.

But, if I don’t, it will be ok, because it was that dream that sustained me through the good years and bad. And, maybe it was the dream that was important.


her indoors said...

sounds to me that you have done well in your life and with raising you kids well done you x

Jay said...

The books are still there. Just sit down in front of the computer and start putting it together. It will be great.

Annie said...

One of the things I truly truly appreciate is hearing women speak in an honest way about their lives trajectories, how their dreams sustained them through the realities of caregiving, hard work and limiting conditions.

Thank you for this retrospective, Betty. Reading it gave me pause to think about my own life so far and what I'd like to do with it here on out.

Best, Annie

Anonymous said...

I really loved this entry.

It speaks honestly about a bittersweet aspect of aging: the dream that can no longer be.

Whether or not you write a book, you can convey feelings with words. You have the gift for the dream still.

Bernie in Corpus

Kell said...

Bittersweet was the word I thought of when I read this, too. Not in a bad way, just life is bittersweet with it's ups and downs. And yet you prevail.

Dogwalkmusings said...

Seems to me it is always the dream that is important.

Ally Bean said...

How about writing your memoirs? It sounds like you'd have some interesting things to tell us.

Betty said...

Thanks to everyone for your comments. Ally bean, I think this blog is going to be as close as I come to a memoir.

Bernie in Corpus: Hello, and thank you for commenting.

Newt said...

I think a memoir would be fabulous. Or a story based loosely on your life. Then you can always add the story about that two week trip you took to Scotland and met that fine young man in a kilt..........

Anonymous said...

Beta isn't letting me log in today :(.

I think now is the BEST time to write a book! I (or Jay *wink*) could help you set up another blog for it like the one I use for "Twisted Tink." You could write in doses.


Dirk_Star said...

Beautiful post.

Of all the things I dreamt of, I never dreamt of the goodness my life is right now.

I am blessed and I khow it!

Joy DJ said...

Betty, I love this post. What has always struck first and foremost with me when I read your posts....or even some of your your great natural humor. I think all of us associate with someone who has a real and honest humor about themselves...and life in general. That's a must if you truly want to connect with other people. Whether you write those memoirs or already have a very appreciative audience.


milliegarfield said...

Yes, I agree, the dream is the important thing - but who knows it might still come true - look at Grandma Moses, she didn't get recognition until she was in her 70's.

gawilli said...

Sometimes the dream is what keeps us moving along! Mine has seemed to change as I get older. It is interesting to me though, that I always thought I would be a in some form of journalism; similar to your novel writing. And here we are with a venue for writing that at least I never dreamed of! Who knows?

Anonymous said...


Lookin' for a new post here! Not to be bossy or anything, that's not my style ;-)

Get movin' missy! Write, write, write.

Your loving daughter, who Blogger hates because she hasn't gone Beta yet, so it won't let her log on to leave a message.

dot said...

Betty, I wish I could write as well as you do. YOu seem to have a talent for it. Love your blog!

SongBird said...

In my senior memory book I wrote, "My dream is to give of myself to others. To sing." At the time I was dreaming of being famous, but as time has marched on I realize that the dream of my 17 year old self has come true. All I have to do is look in the faces of my students, listen to their voices raised in song and sing along with them.