Tuesday, August 29, 2006

High Anxiety

Let me be the first to admit that I stole this idea from Susan's "A Slice of Life". I don't condone it, but I don't apologize for it, because it struck such a cord that I had to write about it. You see,
she hates to shop. And, so do I.

I actually have anxiety attacks when I shop. If I have to be in Wal-Mart for more than 30 minutes, my soul collapses, according to my daughter. Some times are worse than others. If I don't have to cover the whole store to find what I want, I only have to go home, lie down and put a cold compress on my forehead for a while. Other times, I am reduced to incoherent gibberish, and have to take a chill pill. I try deep breathing and intoning my mantra, but it seldom helps.

I get really shaky and break out in a cold sweat in the grocery store, but that could just be fear of my total at checkout. Also, I'm much more likely to run into someone I haven't seen in a while, and have to stop and talk, which throws me off my time schedule. This doesn't happen as often in Wal-Mart, but only because I'm breaking land speed records to get out of there, and I'm only there about once every six months.

My motto when shopping for clothes is "Whatever Fits." I never, N.E.V.E.R. shop for clothes in the stores. The thought of trying something on in those itty-bitty changing rooms is enough to give me hives. And, have you noticed how you look in those mirrors? Especially the one behind you? At home, I don't see my derriere in the mirror when I try something on. And, my mirror is much more forgiving than those at the department stores. I never buy anything I try on in a store, because it always makes me decide to go home and go on a strict diet, so there's no point buying anything that will soon be too big. Of course, when I get home, I get over it.

Since I don't really care what I wear, I tend to buy black, brown and navy pants, and then get tops to go with them. If I find a top that is comfortable and roomy I might buy one in every color and voila! there's my wardrobe. I don't have winter clothes and summer clothes. I just have year-round clothes.

And, I tend to wear something that is comfortable way past its life expectancy. I once had a cotton nighty and robe that I wore for ten years, and when I finally, tearfully, replaced them, my kids celebrated.

My daughter came to visit for a few days a couple of years ago, and when she started hanging up her clothes, said "Mother! Your Closet!!" I told her that I had cleaned it out just the week before she came, but she said she was talking about my limited wardrobe. In my weaker moments, she has been able to talk me into going shopping with her, but she's what my son calls a "Power Shopper", so she has to ratchet back considerably before I'll agree to go. We haven't shopped together in quite awhile, because she has given up on me.

The internet has opened up a whole new world of shopping to me. For the last two years I have bought Christmas presents for everybody on line. The only items of clothing I haven't been able to find to suit me are shoes. But, that's because all those shoemakers in China simply can't imagine feet as large as those of Americans.

And if the Chinese everstart making clothing for Lane Bryant, I'll have make friends with Omar the Tentmaker.

9 comments:

Susan said...

Steal away! After two days of back to school shopping not much will faze me for a week or so....

saz said...

Bet you're a power shopper in a book store.

Betty said...

Susan: Thanks for the idea!

Saz: I only power shop at Amazon.com. No good book stores in my town.

Kell said...

Now, "power shopper" is a little strong. Sort of. Maybe. And Saz makes a good point, you don't seem to have trouble when you're at a bookstore, except the mystery bookstore here that had cats.

Betty said...

Kell: A-a-a-a-CHOO!

MrsCoach2U said...

I still have a nightgown that I got in the 5th grade to match my best friend! I'm now 29. It's a little shorter than it was then and you can see through it in places but it's so darned comfy!

Betty said...

Welcome, mrscoach2u! I loved that gown and robe. I have never found another that I liked as well. I'm just pathetic!

Newt said...

It's good to know I'm not the only one wearing things that have seen a few presidents in it's life time. Bookstores are the one place I can get sucked into and never come out from. I tend to loose entire days in Barnes and Noble or Borders for that matter.

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