Friday, August 04, 2006

Candidate's Proud Mother

I can't help it. I'm so excited about Jay's campaign that I've decided to get a second mortgage on my trailer because I know he's going to need an infusion of funds as the race heats up. His sister offered to help, too, so we're letting her supply baked goods to the campaign workers at headquarters.

As his closest advisor, I begged him not to do that interview until he could afford a speech coach, but, as usual he didn't listen to his mother. Actually, it turned out better than I thought it would, given his speech impediment and all. Why didn't someone tell us that Jack Daniels could cause speech impediments??? He could have held off long enough to do the interview.

Anyway, that reporter was out to get him. I happen to know that she is related to numerous Old Guard families here in Gooberville, so she couldn't be expected to be objective. All of her siblings are the children of prominent businessmen in the community.

I'm proud to say that Jay has the Senior vote sewn up. I've been down at the Senior Center and making the rounds of nursing homes every day. If I never see another drool cup it'll be too soon. But, all my hard work has paid off, even if I never get a thank-you for it. Anyone over 70 who can shuffle or roll to the polls on election day will be voting for Jay, especially after that "or else" poster.

I swear, after the election I'm going to need a good long vacation. I'm thinking Hawaii, so dig deep and send your contributions right away.

Oh, and remember. Vote early and often!


Jay said...

Well, I am thankful for the help and I think we did get a few votes down there. And, I have to hand it to you, you knew just how to make those old guys happy. Some Pabst Blue Ribbon, pork rinds and .. and a gain this was just a stroke (oops shouldn't say stroke around old people) of brilliance... those Viagra pills were a bit hit with the geezers! Good job!

And it was so great to see how sweet and gentle you were with those senior citizens. Putting out your non-filters when the guy whith the oxygen cannisters came through. And, giving your flask of MD 20/20 to that old lady was really nice. Of course, once she slobbered all over it, I guess there wasn't much choice.

Oh and the $54.88 you got for the trailer house is really going to come in handy. Thanks again.

saz said...

Gosh - you're the force behind the candidate! Bloggerland is ready and willing to volunteer. Just keep Kell's cookies coming.

F&W said...

You guys are cracking me up! This is a GREAT post, Betty. I'm beaming over here.

Alan G said...

You need to get him off the dime on this "Stripper Trailer" thing. I would be more than happy to drive up there with a couple hundred dollar bills and show folks how to make campaign contributions. Gives real meaning to the campaign term "soft money".

Keep up the good work Betty!

Betty said...

Alan: I'm working on him. He seems to think he doesn't have to mind me any more. Thanks for the encouragement.

saz said...

I officially tagged you for the Fives MEME cuz you're so good at them - really.

Betty said...

Saz: Gee, thanks. I'll do them Tuesday, after Monday's book review.

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