Wednesday, January 09, 2013

It's All About Me

I've always been thought of as shy, although I've never thought of myself that way.  Eventually, I started telling people I was shy because it was easier to agree than to try to label myself as anything else.  Actually, I'm   simply an introvert.  The Geezer Sisters,wrote about a book that I fully intend to read one day, called "The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life In A Noisy World," by Sophia Dembling.  Sounds as though she's got my number.

My friends tend to call me Agoraphobic, which is a panic disorder with a fear of going into unfamiliar places.  I have suffered panic attacks, but they don't really have much to do with where I go or don't go or how many people are there.  I'm not afraid of crowds or going out of the house.  I just don't particularly want to go anywhere. I may dread getting out of the house, but that has more to do with not wanting to go to the trouble of getting dressed and putting on makeup, only to go out for an hour or so and knowing I'm going to be bored out of my skull when I get there, when I'd much rather be reading a book or playing on my computer or watching TV or a movie.

 I don't mind large gatherings, once I get there, because I like to people watch, but I'm not much for chit-chat. But, if I get cornered by another guest who wants to tell me her troubles with her children, her boyfriend, husband or both, I soon start yawning and looking for the door and, failing that, the nearest bathroom. 

All my life I've heard people calling me "shy" or "stand-offish" or even "snobbish" and probably a lot more not so flattering labels. Not true, for the most part. It is true that I don't particularly like people in general, especially if they are stupid. I am not very good at "chit-chat," I'll admit. I don't feel the need to babble on and on just to fill a gap in the conversation. I'm quite happy to be lost in my own thoughts, when no one else is talking, and have been known to drift  when others are talking about things that don't interest me, but my glazed look always gives me away, so I try not to do that, because I am nothing if not polite.

I'm no good as a team player, either, tending to take the bull by he horns and try to solve the problem even before the "team" gets around to discussing the subject at hand.  There are usually certain niceties that must be observed before any meeting can get started.  I find those boring. Get on with it, already! 

I'll freely admit that I don't like other people's children, unless they are well-behaved, something that is hard to find these days. I liked, and still like my own children, however, and a few belonging to my friends.  I do enjoy watching little children interact with each other.  They try so hard to understand the world and explain it to each other.

I don't like it when people drop in unannounced.  That is because I never think my house is neat enough.  I like to have time to at least scrape the top layer of dust off my furniture and neaten the nest I always build around my chair, or chairs.  There always seem to be a dish or two that I haven't gotten around to putting into the dishwasher, and I'm never very confident that the bathroom is up to snuff. I usually relax, though, and enjoy the visit.

I do like most of my friends and usually enjoy being around them occasionally, although I don't much enjoy shopping with them because I usually end up having to wait while they browse. 

I may be a curmudgeon, but I'm not shy.

Stay tuned. 


Linda@VS said...

Omigosh, I could have written most of this myself. I do enjoy working with a team if it's a small one, and I've never had a panic attack, but the rest of it? Moi. It ticks me off that the word introvert is frequently spoken as if there's something wrong with that, when, in reality, it's just a different way of interacting. Extroverts derive energy from other people, but we introverts get the energy sucked right out of us if we're around other people too long. One of the things I like best about my blog friends is I can find 'em when I can handle 'em and leave 'em alone on days I can't. I posted an article in defense of introversion a few years ago, and if you haven't read it, here's a link: Your Introvert Partner or Friend
I think you'll like it.

Linda@VS said...

Just reread my comment and it sounds like I'm saying the article I posted was something I wrote. It is clearly not. I should have said I posted a link to it years ago.

Betty said...

Linda: Loved the article. I think the reason I don't comment on everyone's blog every day, or reply to comments on my own blog every time is because I'm an introvert, not because I don't read everyone's blogs every day, but because I just don't necessarily have the urge to say anything. I don't mean to insult anyone.

chlost said...

Well, okay, now there are three of us. I also could have written this. I could easily stay at home for two weeks without going out, except to get groceries or other supplies. I just don't particularly enjoy groups of people, and enjoy my own company (and that of my books, blog friends, my husband and dog). I like the people I work with, but didn't miss most of them while I was out on a leave. Hate chit-chat, but for some reason, I must have a label on me somewhere, because folks will sit down next to me and tell me their life story, all of their problems, and opinions of other people. Yikes! I don't want or need to know any of that.
I love Geezer Sister's blog, but haven't followed the link yet. I had heard about the book, I think I will buy it too. There is a difference between an introvert and a hermit....the hermit won't answer the door for those unannounced visits.

patsy said...

i have never met you but would never have guessed you might be shy.
i would have said you were stand offish if I was to guess.
of all the people i follow on the net you would be the one i would pick to meet but wont happen because I am a introvert.besides if i was to meet anyone i would have to put shoes on and cloths, the only peopple i "meet" are family and they let me go bare foot and naked.

Margie's Musings said...

I guess I'm an extrovert. I like people and I like talking to them and listening to them. My friends are very important to me. I belong to several organizations and am usually an officer.

But I do love my alone time too. I love to read and clean my house and blog.

Sister--Three said...

Betty, you sound just like me. I enjoyed learning more about you. I guess friends from afar are ok.

Arkansas Patti said...

Would never have guessed this as your personality as you are so outspoken.
I am one of those "when in Rome" types. I can be very content with my own company or in a room full of people. Could not do either full time.

Olga said...

I am for sure on the introvert side of the scale. It is not that I don't enjoy people, but I hate crowds and too much noise. And people who can talk for hours give me anxiety.
I get a big kick out of your blog and your opinions, though. No punches held back, but no unnecessary blathering either.

Sister--Helen said...

You could be a Powell Sister. I have more friends than my Sisters and that is not many. I know a lot of people that consider me a friend but I seem to find many people stupid if I am around them very long.

Betty said...

Chlost: I'll open the door and, when I calm down a little, I'll even enjoy the visit. lol

Patsy: I don't think I'd be stand[-offish with you,but I might be embarrassed if you didn't have clothes on. lol

Margie: I'm not at all surprised to hear that you're an extrovert. You seem to love being around people, and helping them.

Sisters Three and Four: I think I would get along with all the Powells.

Patti: I can be comfortable among a lot of people, when I'm in the mood, it's just difficult to convince me to get in the mood. But, you're right - I'm definitely outspoken, especially on my blog.

Olga: I like my blog and expressing my opinion, but I don't like to be too wordy about it. Sometimes I don't think I explain myself enough.

Dianne said...

I share a lot of your feelings although I think what I do is over compensate for what I think is a problem by being loud and outrageous

and no, I never doubted for a moment that Jay and Matt could do a serious show
I know them and love them


Looking to the Stars said...

Ahh, I love your writing. I am a lot like you except I don't have any kids. Looking forward to your next post, you make my day :)

Betty said...

Looking to the Stars: Thank you. You just made MY day!

Dianne: I hope they'll do more serious shows. Every now and then, anyway.

Anonymous said...

That great post could have been written about me, apart from the bit about "putting on makeup". :-)

Grayquill said...

I like a post where one takes a risk and peels away a layer exposing themselves. When one does that I always like that person a bit more. Betty I like you a bit more after reading this. Good job!

Betty said...

Big John: Thanks for the comment. I think you might be just a bit more outgoing that I am.

Grayquill: It's always hard for me to talk about me, which doesn't leave much to talk about. Also, my kids wouldn't appreciate me talking about them, so there goes that subject. lol

Kay Dennison said...

Are we sisters???

Betty said...

Kay: Sisters under the skin, I think. :)