After the summer I've had, battling the hip-hop-loving upstairs neighbor and the DOG (Democrat-Gazette) taking a ridiculously long time to fire my newspaper carriers and replace them with one who has an attention span long enough to remember my address from one day to the next, my blood pressure was off the charts. My doctor doubled my medicine and then, when that didn't do the trick, he added another pill. Then, he decided to put me back on Paxil for my anxiety.
By this time next week, I expect to be so mellowed out, I'll be snapping my fingers and tapping my toes to the jungle beat coming from upstairs. I won't even care who wins the elections, state or national.
But, before that happens, I have to tell you that I'm gonna stop making fun of Louisiana, Texas, Missouri and Oklahoma, because the crazy has broken out right here in Arkansas. Following are some of the ideas of two of the Republican candidates who are running for the state legislature. And, according to the Arkansas Times, whose articles by Max Brantley I have shortened and shamelessly semi-plagiarized here, they are being backed by the Koch brothers.
John Hubbard, Rep. candidate for Ark. Lege from Jonesboro.
Slavery was good for black people. May have been a blessing in disguise.
If you think slavery was bad, you should have seen Africa: At least the slaves didn’t have to live in the Sahara Desert.
Black people are ignorant: They just need to learn to appreciate the value of a good education.
Integration was bad for white people. Instead of bringing black students up to a level of white students, instead, white students dropped to the level of ambitionless black students.
It's basically hopeless. Black people will never establish themselves as contributing members of society within this country.
Immigration is bad, both legal and illegal. It will lead to planned wars or extermination. American Christians are assuming a similar stance as did the citizens of Germany during Hitler’s rise to power.
God According to Charlie Fuqua, R. Batesville
STARVE 'EM. The minimum wage should be set at zero. It is simply a lie that raising the minimum wage helps people at the low end of the pay scale.
KILL 'EM We cannot continue to sustain the percentage of our population that is in prison. No prison term should be longer than two years. Prison should be unpleasant and rehabilitative. Anyone that cannot be rehabilitated in two years should be executed.
PRAY Education is inherently religious activity. If we decide to continue to fund education with public funds, the only way to have an educational system that gives parents the freedom to have their children taught the religion they desire is to have a voucher system that enables the parents to select the school the parents desire.
THROW THE MUSLIMS OUT I see no solution to the Muslim problem short of expelling all of them.
Look closely at their eyes. The lights are on, but there's nobody home. And, they're gonna win.