1. You must never have had pre-marital sex. (What do you have to do to prove it?)
2. From that day on, you will never look at porn again. (Describe porn.)
3. You must be opposed to abortion. (It's ok if you've had one, but you have to oppose it, now.)
4. You must uphold gun rights. (Take your AK-47 with you. They'll be convinced.)
5. You must take a compassionate and moral approach to teen pregnancy. (Explain to the teen in question that she'll never, ever be able to run for office in that county.)
6. You must have a high regard for United States sovereignty. (Loudly criticize Canada and Mexico.)
7. You must be faithful to your spouse, who cannot be a person of the same sex. (The committee will be watching you from now on, so it should be easy peasy.)
8. You will not favor any government action that would allow civil unions. (You'll have to put up with said government action, but you don't have to favor it.)
9. You must have a commitment to peace through strength in foreign policy. (That'll be easy, once you figure out what it means.)
10. You must endorse the idea of a balanced state and federal balanced budget. (It's easy to endorse an idea. Ideas are good.)
Candidates will be interviewed by a three-person committee, who will then recommend to the full executive committee whether to allow the candidate to be on the ballot. Lawsie! This is worse than sorority rush at Ole Miss! I'd give a lot to be a fly on the wall while that three-person committee questions candidates.
I can't imagine there will be a very long line forming outside the committee room, other than a nerdy, horny 25-year-old man and a 73-year-old spinster.
It just gets weirder and weirder.