Friday, August 14, 2009

Just Wait 'Til Your Father Gets Home!

PhotobucketArkansas is on the top of the heap, again. We rank second from the top in states that allow corporal punishment in the schools. Mississippi beat us out again.

Years, nay decades ago, spanking was the punishment of choice as a way to discipline children. The sight of dear daddy unbuckling his belt or mama cutting a switch in the back yard would send kids scampering for cover.

"Just wait 'til your father gets home!" was the dreaded threat in many households. And, "If you get in trouble at school, young man/lady, you'll be in twice as much trouble at home!" There was no misunderstanding those statements. Especially when they were followed by, "Now, stop that bawling, or I'll give you something to cry about!" And, for the most part, those threats worked. Kids straightened up in record time, by cracky!

Then, someone got the idea that spanking children damaged their little ids. Suddenly, a judicious smack on a child's backside became child abuse, and parents had to find other ways to discipline. Spanking or paddling became big no-nos in schools all over the country.

When my children were children, spanking was still allowed, although people were beginning to "tsk, tsk" about it. Even I was known to administer a soul-satisfying swat on a bottom that was well-padded with a diaper. A plastic-covered cloth diaper.

When the kids reached school age, some of the teachers had paddles hanging in prominent spots in their rooms. Jay's first grade teacher carried a yard stick with her as she traveled up and down the aisles. No one was beyond her reach, as she wielded that yardstick, applying it liberally to offending heads or hands.

Then, she came up with the added punishment of in-class incarceration for the most unruly culprits. This consisted of large, cardboard appliance boxes that she got from a local furniture store. The trouble-maker was surrounded on three sides by the cardboard, making it impossible for the child to look anywhere but forward, with a view of only the blackboard. There were a couple of boys who spent almost all year in cardboard solitary confinement.

While I practiced a bit of corporal punishment at home, I objected to it in the schools. If anyone was going to spank my kids, it would be me. So, I came around to the idea of finding more creative forms of punishment, such as "time outs" and "grounding". And, I thought the schools had come around, too.

Apparently not.

Stay tuned.

130 comments:

Deanna said...

I've never thought a swat on the butt hurt any child - as long as it was just that and not done in anger. And it had better be done by me or mine and not by someone else (well I did give the babysitter permission). Corporal punishment has no place in schools. Discipline does but not hitting. We had nuns who rapped our knuckles and an eighth grade teacher who was a HUGE guy. He kept a paddle on his desk and if anyone got out of line he would have them touch their toes and he would whack them. A number of times a student landed on his face because the whack was so hard. It was always the guys (he wouldn't have gotten by with it on the girls I don't think.) This same teacher was arrested for child abuse years later. Wow! where did that tangent come from?

Staying tuned.

Looking to the Stars said...

I have no children but years ago, a friend had 2 boys. The eldest she spanked because he never responded to time outs. The 2nd boy she gave time outs. The boys are grown and married now. The eldest became a youth pastor and the 2nd boy has yet to find his direction in life.

I also, had an 8th grade science teacher who used a paddle. He was accused of touching one of the girls, they fired him.

All in all, I believe a parent should have the right to discipline their children but not to the point of abuse.

Margie's Musings said...

I saw a woman at the dollar store with her three year old in her arms. he was screaming at her and pounding her in the face and on her body screaming "I want my daddy. Let me down!!"
Finally she took him out and left.

I said, "If that was my child I would blister his bottom for hitting me in the face that way."

"No you wouldn't" the clerk said. "I took my five year old into Wal Mart last year and she threw a temper tantrum because I would not buy her a toy. I took her to the car, turned her over my lap and spanked her."

A Wal Mart employee saw me and called the police. The authorities took my child away from me and it took me six months to get her back."

Dianne said...

I never once hit my son
I grabbed the collar of his shirt once to pull him back so I could finish telling him how long he was grounded

in grammar school a lunch room aide grabbed him and threw him into line

I did not rest until she was written up

no one has the right to hit another person

just because they're children doesn't mean they're not human beings with the right to not be hurt or humiliated

if I had seen the scene in the parking lot described above I too would have called the police

Cazzie!!! said...

Well, my Mum used to tell us that if we did not fight back at school when other kids began hitting us then she would hit US! So, sometimes my brother got the spoon from mum. I never did... I used to fight back, LOL.
I agree with you, but, at the same time I think that some parents are so soft on their kis at home, and they have no set guidelines or rules for the kids at home and so then they do not follow them at school which leads to some sort of punishment...but not for the school to whack the kids.. so then what?
The same boys used to get the strap at school when I was a kid..and it was in friont if our whole assembly. Mostly it hurt their pride in front of all of us, not their calves :(
I thik it all stopped when I was in grade 4, 1980 or so.
Also, some paents need a whack the way they treat other parents at the school..lol...just saying.
Thats why I drop my kids off, or help out with the reading or excursions in class, but I dont really hav anything to do with any parents because alot of them just mill about and backstab each other. If I don't get close then I won't be involved :)

Cazzie!!! said...

Oh, and a spank every now and then gets the kids in line.. I just asked my kids and they agreed, LOL

Arkansas Patti said...

Oh how I used to envy kids who were spanked. Their punishment hurt pride and bottom but was then over.
I came from the grounding and withholding of privileges parents and my punishments could last for weeks.
Several schools I went to had the "paddle" butI never saw it or knew of anyone who experienced it. Knowing it was there was enough.
Aren't we lucky to have Mississippi?

NitWit1 said...

Having never raised children, I never give advice on what parents nor teachers should do.

My parents certainly believed in "spare the rod, spoil the child." I was subjected to "wait till your father gets home,too" except we siblings already had a spanking from her, which did not hurt much. We really did something bad to await Dad's spanking too, which hurt.

Darlene said...

I like my daughter's attitude. She says that we need to remember what we are trying to teach. All we teach when we use corporal punishment is that big people can hurt little people. Some big people don't know their own strength and can do physical damage with a spanking. I think there are better ways to punish.

No adult has the right to hit a child; especially a child that is not theirs.

Karen said...

There is a huge difference between spanking and beating. I don't mind spanking.

I got hit in school a few times and it was the type of thing where you didn't tell your parents because you'd be in more trouble for getting the nun mad at you.

Grayquill said...

A quote keeps coming up over an over that I delegate to many situations. I think it fits here. "For the lack of knowledge the people perish" - some where is the bible (now I am being very lazy) A second is more of a principle, Do it with wisdom and balance.
Our youth need to be trained not abused and sometimes a pop on the rear will train, other times sitting in a three sided cubical is called for. No one way will work for every child in every situation.
Discipline goes array when a adult uses his/her size as power over the child.
There is much more to say on this but this is only a comment section.
Great topic.

MA Fat Woman said...

I think it was more the fear of being punished than the actual punishment itself...at least that's the way it was in my family.

Margaret said...

Well, when I was growing up, I never had to wait for my Father! My Mom was one to have a switch, yardstick, or belt to whap the tar outta' me...
I always wondered why my punishment never fit the crime! I spanked my 3, not viciously, but spanked...and found the STANDING IN THE CORNER was the best for them...They hated that~!
Good topic, Betty...

Betty said...

Thank you all for your comments. They provided some interesting reading.

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