Tuesday, January 01, 2008

No Resolutions for Me.

I used to make a long list of New Year's Resolutions each year. And, by the end of January, I had broken all of them. Sometimes, it seemed as though I was just trying to break them, it happened so quickly. And, subconsciously, maybe I was. I have never been one to take orders, even from myself, and those resolutions seemed a lot like orders and were stress-inducing, and the last thing I needed was more stress. So, I stopped making serious resolutions several years ago.

My resolutions list always started with a promise to get on a diet and stay on it. HAhahahaha. I should never have put that on the list. What was I thinking? The only thing I had for comfort was food. In the last few years, I have comforted my self into another size in clothing, and if I comfort myself any more, I'll need a larger recliner. So, maybe I can go so far as to make a very ambiguous resolution to try to do better, and choose comfort foods that are a bit less caloric.

My second resolution was always to get organized. That was 'way too much going against my nature. I know a leopard can't change its spots, and a natural-born slob can't turn into a housekeeper with a place for everything and everything in its place. I once knew a woman who was so compulsive about everything being in its place that she used to treat everyone to a viewing of her one jumbled junk drawer, just to prove she was normal. I once accused her of waxing her driveway.

Then, there were the years that I resolved to get serious about writing the Great American Novel. Oh, puhleez! You can't expect a free-spirited will-o-the-wisp such as myself to have the discipline to even make an outline, much less write a chapter or two a day - every day. I would have to have a schedule - write at a certain time every day. And, what time would that be? Early morning? No, that would cut into my coffee-drinking, newspaper reading, crossword puzzle working, and I'd probably have to miss "The View". No, not early morning. Afternoon? What about my nap? No, not afternoon. Nights? When would I read? Or work on my blog, or read YOUR blogs? See? There's just not time for everything. My art will have to suffer.

I always resolved to be a nicer person, until I realized that I was already as nice as it was going to get, so my friends would just have to live with it. Can I help it if I'm opinionated and outspoken, and can, at times, be a bit tactless? You have to take the good with the bad. I used to worry a lot about other people's feelings, and then, one day I realized those other people didn't seem to have the same worry about me. So, F--k 'em if they can't take a joke.

When my kids were small, I resolved to be nicer to them and not lose my temper, and to do more things with them. Invariably, the next day, when I got home from work, basking in the glow of maternal affection, one or the other of them would be standing in the door, and as I got out of the car, would say something like, "We're out of ___________" (fill in the blank), and I'd get pissed and forget that silly resolution. Kids are God's way of paying you back for the way you treated your own parents.

So. No resolutions from me. Nuh-uh. I'm a lot older and wiser, now. I'll just sit back and watch everyone else break theirs, one at a time. And, I'll smile.

17 comments:

kenju said...

AMEN! YOu and me too, Betty!

Peggy said...

Are you my real mother? We've way too much in common for this to be accidental.

grannymar said...

'I'll just sit back and watch everyone else break theirs, one at a time. And, I'll smile'

Was that a resolution? ;)

Have a wonderful 2008

Kell said...

It's so hard to take comfort in something besides food! It's the first thing I turn to even though I keep saying I'm going to find something else. And an apple just isn't comforting. Maybe we can put our heads together and think of something.

DocMtCat said...

The anti-resoultion resolution - I like it !

-Shane (doc)

DirkStar said...

My only resolution is to create my very own naked room...

Betty said...

kenju: It's the only sensible way to ring in the new year. No pressure.

peggy: Well, I guess I could adopt you, if you like. lol

grannymar: That's not a resolution, although it may sound like one.

kell: I can think of things I'd rather be comforted with than food, but they just aren't available.

docmtcat: Thanks. I'm reading your blog, and liking it.

dirkstar: I used to dream of a padded room, where I could go in, lock the door, and bounce off the walls for a while to relieve stress.

Joy Des Jardins said...

No resolutions for me either Betty....I suck at them. Besides, my list kept getting longer and longer every year....the guilt was too much.

gawilli said...

I've turned to self-indulgent resolutions. I'm pretty good at that and I'm relatively sure I can accomplish most everything I can think of.

Velvet Sacks said...

I broke one of mine first thing this morning, the one about not saying the word "a--hole" so often during morning drive time. Actually, I broke it twice in the first mile. I'll try to do better tomorrow.

a beaverhausen said...

I read an article about resolutions in our paper and mostly it addressed our desire to change the course of our lives. In a way, that's what resolutions represent. Rather than promising to do 300 situps a day, we should just vow to get fit...in a general way. Any progress in that direction is considered success. If you want to stop smoking, replace the old habit with a new one...like buying a pedometer and walking every day. This year is the year I become employed again on a fulltime basis and toward that end I probably need to stop cussing (as much). Therefore I'm going to try to use a new word a week that expands my vocabulary. But I don't want to link those promises to myself with any New Years thing. Because it won't mean a thing to me once June rolls around. Maybe that's why resolutions rarely work.

Anonymous said...

"So, F--k 'em if they can't take a joke". Better than any resolution I know. :-)

John http://oldgit.wordpress.com/

Betty said...

joy: AND, I absolutely refused to have blackeyed peas on New Year's Day. So, there.

gawilli: I've done that, too, kind of. Like resolving to take more naps or read more. I can keep those.

velvet: lol The "real" me comes out when I'm driving, too.

a beaverhausen: I figure I can make resolutions at any time. Not just at the New Year.

john: Pardon my French. I always tell myself that my vocabulary is sufficiently large not to have to stoop to vulgar language. But, DAMN, it's hard.

susan said...

I'm right there with you on everything, starting with the not able to take orders...even from me!

Sister--Three said...

Betty, you sound just like another Betty I know...top of my list is lose weight, next get organized, write a book and be nice! I will never make it on any of them.

CarmenSinCity said...

Yeah, resolutions are stupid - I made some though :)

Tink said...

That's why I make anti-resolutions, which are either A. things I can't break, like breathing or B. resolutions I WANT to break, like robbing a bank.