Got A Light?

I started smoking when I was in high school. We all did - all my friends, anyway. We thought it was the height of sophistication. I never could do all those cool things some of the others could do, though. You know, blowing smoke rings and that trick that Frenchie did in "Grease", where she held the smoke in her mouth and let it out sloooooowwwwwly, while she breathed it back in through her nose. I always choked and gagged and gasped and my eyes watered when I tried that.

I don't know what things were like in Yankeeland, but in the south, there were rules about ladies smoking, and we strictly adhered to them. A lady could smoke in a car, but she had to put it out before she got out to go into a building. A lady never, never, never smoked while walking around, not even alone in the house. Only while sitting down. And, she absolutely never let a cigarette hang out of her mouth. She had to keep her fingers on it at all times. Rules, rules, rules.

So, even though she smoked like a furnace, my mother told me she didn't want me to smoke in front of my grandmother. And, since Grandma lived with us, that meant I had to go next door whenever I wanted a cigarette. Or make up a reason to take the car and go somewhere.

One afternoon, while Grandma and I were having our usual after school cup of tea and cookies, I asked, "Would you like to know a secret?" Her eyes lit up, and she said yes. So, I said, "Grandma, there's no way you could possibly NOT know that I like to smoke a cigarette every now and then. You must be able to smell it. You do know, don't you?" And, she admitted that she did, but didn't want to say anything about it in case my mother didn't know.

I said, "Grandma, mother says I'm not to smoke in front of you. But, I don't want to have to go next door just to have one, so if I smoke here, will you let this be our little secret?"

The idea of having a secret from mother really tickled her. And, I think she was actually pleased that I was willing to talk to her about it. And, for some reason, it had the effect of slowing down my smoking, strangely enough. When I knew I could light up any time I wanted, it didn't seem as important.

And, that wasn't the only secret we kept from mother, either.