The Costume That Worked

I don't know about you, but my "work persona" was a lot different from my "away from work" persona. I don't know why this is, or if it is normal, but I always felt that the person who held down my job wasn't the real me.

I didn't keep a lot of personal items in my office, only a photo of my kids, and a little statuette that had "You Want It When???" printed on it. I also kept a certain amount of distance from my bosses, except for one, who was so down to earth that I could say anything I wanted to and he never got offended or upset, even if I was scolding him. In fact, he was so down to earth that he didn't last with that company very long. Talk about not fitting in!

Anyway, I admit to being a little standoffish until you get to know me, and you have to meet me halfway. Isn't everybody except Kell like that? Most of the people I worked with were nice enough, but the often oppressive atmosphere wasn't such that you could develop close friendships. And, the fact that I worked for the Boss didn't help.

So, I was surprised when I was invited to the home of one of the managers and his wife, who also worked there, for a Hallowe'en costume party. They had invited lots of people, but not everyone from work, which added to my surprise. So, I decided to put on a costume and go.

I thought about it for a long time, and finally decided to go as part Mae West, part Vampira, part Morticia Addams, and see if I could keep anyone from recognizing me. Now, I am not a small woman, so it was going to be a challenge to go as a vamp, but I thought, what the hey, if I can do it, ok, and if they all recognize me on sight, that's ok, too.

I happened to have a floor length black skirt and a black blouse, so that would be the basis of my costume. I went to Wal-Mart (chanting my mantra, as I always do when I HAVE to go there), and found a long black wig, false eyelashes, blood red lipstick, long, dangly earrings and a red feather boa. I put on my makeup with a trowel - well, not really, but it looked that way - and applied bright blue eyeshadow and black eyeliner, the eyelashes and my lipstick. So far, so good. My black skirt, blouse and shoes all still fit. Whew. And, when I threw the red boa around my neck and shoulders, the look was complete. So, as my old journalism teacher used to say, "Ready, Go!"

When I arrived, fashionably late, the front door was open, and I could hear laughter and talking coming from the downstairs basement room. So, I sashayed down the stairs and made my grand entrance. I stood there for a moment, with one hand on the door frame and the other on my hip and took in the scene. All talking stopped and everyone was looking at me rather strangely, and I thought, "Oh, Jeez, what's wrong? Am I trailing toilet paper on my heel?" My hostess came over and got right up in my face and said, "Hello." I said "Hello to you to." I realized that she didn't know who I was, but I didn't enlighten her. I just thanked her for inviting me, and she recovered and directed me to the bar they had set up.

I slunk over to the bar and perched on one of the bar stools, still looking around. People were trying to be subtle, but I could tell that they just couldn't figure me out. Finally, I slithered, wiggled and jiggled my way over to a group from the office, twirling my feather boa. I looked at one of the men and gave him a big old wink and, somehow, he figured it out. Then, he ratted me out. Everybody was just flabbergasted.

If there had been a prize for the best costume, I think I would have won, although the guy who had recognized me was wearing a Kermit the Frog costime, and his veddy British wife was clad in a body stocking and lots and lots of purple baloons, which she explained were supposed to depict "frog spoor". Even so, they were recognizable, and I wasn't. So there.

A few days later, there was a photo circulating around the workplace. Someone had taken a picture of me at that party. People looked at me a little differently after that, I hope in a good way. In case you're wondering, I never did get hold of that photo.

That sure was a fun party!