Wednesday, September 27, 2006

With Friends Like These........

It seems that my friends are always getting me into trouble. You’d think I was gullible, or something. It’s been this way all my life.

HEADLINE IN MY HEAD: “Girl Breaks Prominent Attorney’s Windshield”

When I was about eight years old, I was playing catch with my neighbor, Tommy. Tommy knew just how to push my buttons, and was always getting me into trouble. This day, he said something, as usual, that got me mad, and I threw the ball as hard as I could, at his head, and he ducked. The ball hit the neighbor’s car and broke the back windshield. Of course, Tommy ran away, leaving me to face daddy, and so I cried and said, “Tommy made me break the Scott’s car windshield, sniff, sniff, and daddy said, “Come with me.”

Well, you guessed it. I had to apologize to Mr. Scott, and daddy said he’s have the windshield replace, and where do you think Tommy was while I got all the blame? I don’t know, either.

HEADLINE IN MY HEAD: “Coed Breaches Bush"

Later on, while I was at the UofA, a young man of my acquaintance had a bit of a crush on me, that is to say, he stalked me. Everywhere I went, there he was. This was a source of great amusement to my roommate and some other friends. This young man was always asking what he could do to prove his love for me.

This year, the University had planted hedges everywhere in order to keep students from cutting across the grass. We were incensed at having to go around on the sidewalks and risk being late for class. So, when J. asked, once again, what he could do, I quipped, “Chop a big hole in that hedge, so we can cut through it going to class.”

Later, that afternoon my roomie and I were walking back to the dorm with a couple of guys, and here came J. dragging a huge bunch of greenery, which we soon identified as part of the hedge. Sure enough, my roomie and the guys disappeared, and I was left stammering at J., flapping my arms and telling him to get rid of the evidence.

HEADLINE IN MY HEAD: “Local Matrons Arrested for Tresspass”

Several years ago, at Christmas time, my friend M.E. decided that we needed live greenery in our houses, so it would smell more festive. Seemed like a good idea to me, so she said, “Come over tonight, and we’ll get some from my neighbor’s land. He won’t mind.”

So, I went over after work, and she piddled around and piddled around until I mentioned that it was beginning to get dark, and shouldn’t we go while we could still see? Finally, she was ready. And it was pitch black outside, so I said, “Let’s move the car down there, and we can shine the headlights to see what we’re cutting.” And, she said, “No lights! No lights!”

That’s when I realized that she hadn’t gotten permission for us to trespass on her neighbor’s land. Visions of flashing blue lights flashed through my mind. We didn’t get caught, thank goodness, but I never did that again, either.

But, the house sure smelled nice that Christmas.

9 comments:

patsy said...

went to libary yesterday and ask for the authors books you posted about and they didn't have one! they looked her up on amazon to see if i had the right name and read about her books. they said they looked good and would order a couple. so if you know any other good writers let me know.

Arkansawyer said...

As a kid, I can remember a 'furtive' trip with my Dad into the forest where we cut a tree for my aunt and uncle.

Last year, after returning home for awhile, and coming back here, I was homesick and had a ton of other stuff on my mind... and I found a way to get rid of stress, in a positive way.

Remembering my Dad and Uncles sitting on the porch, smoking prince albert cigarettes and telling stories of along ago. All of them are gone now, and only the faint memories of those times, in a little boy's head, are all that remains.

I thought... I'd love for my kids to have some idea of what it was like for me, growing up. Thus, Armadillo Creek was born. My "muse" has been silent of late, but sooner or later he will return and there'll be more stories. Till then, if you're interested, this one told of that tree we cut furtively in the edge of the forest down a long dirt road... It just doesn't tell it quite like that. :) And some of the Christmas memories that went along with it.

http://armadillocreek.blogspot.com/2005/12/life-saver-angels.html

Arkansawyer aka "Uncle Ed"

saz said...

with friends like these......

Kell said...

Al got us a Christmas tree in a similar fashion one year. Poor little Charlie Brown tree.

Annie said...

For a while in my teenage years I was the friend that orchestrated all the mischief. But I didn't run away. Didn't need to, because we never got caught! Oh the impetuousness of youth!

How did you finally ditch that stalker-boy?

Betty said...

Patsy: I hope your library will get the books for you. I'll do more "reviews" pretty soon.

Arkansawyer: I went to your Armadillo Creek site, and I think you ought to wake up your muse and write some more.

Annie: I took the coward's way out. I avoided him until he joined the marines and went to Vietnam. He came back on leave and surprised me one day. There he stood in full regalia, I guess to show me what I was missing. lol But, that was the last time I saw him.

gawilli said...

When ever I found myself in situations such as this my mom would say "Just because Jody jumps off of the Brooklyn Bridge, you don't need to follow her." I hated it when she said that.

gawilli said...

When ever I found myself in situations such as this my mom would say "Just because Jody jumps off of the Brooklyn Bridge, you don't need to follow her." I hated it when she said that.

Newt said...

Just remember that the Karma Cow probably took care of it for you. I'm sure at some point your friends found themselves with toiet paper rolls on their fingers when the big burly sheriff came out of his newly t-p'd house. Maybe it didn't happen that month, or that year, but it happened. Maybe your stalker ended up with a fatal attraction later in his life.