Peta's In Its Annual Flap Over Turkey Trot

This Friday marks the beginning of Yellville's annual "Wild Turkey Calling Contest and Turkey Trot." And, as in every year in recent memory, PETA is whipping itself into a frenzy over the "Turkey Drop," where live wild turkeys are flung from low flying airplanes and allowed  to either splatter on the sides of building or on the street or sidewalk around the square, or ripped from stem to stern by young boys fighting over them.

This practice is not sanctioned by the committee heading up the Turkey Trot festivities, although it used to be, before PETA started carping about it and it was taken over by private parties.  Of course, it's wrong. But, dangit, it's just so popular!   And, the argument is, "Wild turkeys can fly."  Well, yes, they can, but not when dropped from an airplane flying at 700 feet, too low for the birds to catch an updraft.  Another, weaker argument is "they'll end up dead and on someone's dinner table, anyway."  This is probably true enough. But, I wouldn't particularly want to cook a turkey that had been used as a living wishbone or peeled off the side of a building or off the street, like roadkill.  Maybe I'm just too picky.

In any event,the Turkey Trot will go on as planned, and so will the Turkey Drop, and everyone will have a fine time attending the Turkey Calling Contest and Miss Turkey Trot and Miss Drumsticks pageants, while members of PETA grumble and mumble in the background.

It's gonna take someone with more clout than PETA to dampen their spirits. Why, Turkey Trot is famous! After all, the Turkey Drop was featured on "WKRP in Cincinnatti."

If I were PETA, I wouldn't mess with the folks deep in the Ozarks. They don't take too kindly to outside interference where their time-honored festivals are concerned.

Stay tuned.